Embarking Together: Meet Andrea and Andy!
There was definitely sweetness in the air when Andrea and Andy met at a holiday cookie exchange hosted by mutual friends back in 2023 — “Mostly Christmas cookies,” Andrea notes, with a laugh. After that, they kept running into each other, before finally taking the hint from the universe. They started dating in February, making this year their third anniversary.
About a year into their relationship, they started talking about what it meant to them to be an interfaith couple. “I knew that if our relationship worked out, [Judaism] was going to be a part of my life,” Andrea explained. “And I was onboard with that! But I didn’t really know what that would actually mean, you know?”
Andy’s story of his Jewish upbringing may sound familiar to many: a conservative synagogue, going to Hebrew school, and regular Shabbat dinners. For her part, Andrea describes her upbringing as not religious, but celebrated major holidays like Christmas and Easter with her family.
Embark felt like a natural next step. The program connects interfaith couples with a rabbi and a cohort of other Jewish and interfaith young adults in their 20s and 30s to explore Judaism together. It didn’t hurt that the cohort leader, Rabbi Jonathan Posner, was already a friend of Andy’s, and Andrea had met him and his wife several times. But what really got Andrea excited was the chance to meet other interfaith couples. “The main thing I was looking for personally, was community,” she reflects. “Other people who were experiencing the same thing I was as someone who’s being introduced to this new religion and culture.”
Once the cohort was underway, Andy also found it meaningful in ways he didn’t expect. “I really appreciated being able to think about things that I maybe haven’t thought about since Hebrew school,” he explained. Instead of just doing things the way he’d always done them, it was a chance to pause and consider how he wants to bring Judaism into his life now, as an adult. That was his favorite part, he said: “Getting to create new traditions and memories with Andrea, and coming up with our own approaches.”
But alongside the Jewish learning, what surprised Andrea and Andy was Embark’s focus on relationship building. “It felt a lot like group couples therapy,” Andrea recalled, laughing. “Like, I think there was like a part on handling conflict and how you want to feel seen. It was growing as a couple, but using Judaism as a guide.”
They both credit Embark, and the steady presence of Rabbi Jonathan, for giving them the tools to navigate the important conversations around interfaith partnership. “There were previous times where we’d have a conversation and emotions run high because it’s very important to us, and we’re talking about family traditions that mean a lot to us,” Andrea shared. “It can get stressful pretty quickly when you’re parsing through this stuff. So having someone lead you through that and be like ‘you should be talking about XY and Z’ — that can really help.”
Both agreed that being in Embark together, and choosing to dedicate the time to these conversations, made a big difference. “It’s hard to prioritize that if you don’t have the time, or the structure,” Andrea said, as Andy nodded. “I can’t imagine us having some of these discussions if we’d just been sitting at dinner.”
In the end, it came back to what Andrea had been hoping for all along: community. “I think the biggest positive takeaway was having this community [of other interfaith couples],” Andy reflected. “And the fact that we have a group of people we can be like ‘hey, let’s have a Shabbat dinner!’”
Andrea also has found that her time in Embark has helped her feel more comfortable and confident stepping into Jewish spaces – even without Andy. She recalls a women’s Rosh Chodesh event at the synagogue, one that, she admits, would previously have intimidated her. “But now, I know Jonathan well, and I know Hannah [Jonathan’s wife]. And there’s a chance that someone else from Embark will be there, too!”
Although Embark itself is not a program about conversion, since their time together in the program, Andrea has begun taking conversion classes and is excited about this next step in her journey. And perhaps most importantly, Andy has enjoyed bringing Andrea in on the most significant, and ancient, tradition of all: Jewish jokes. “I gave [Andy’s] dad a calendar last year for Chanukkah and he said ‘it’s the gift that keeps on giving,’ and I said ‘kind of like the oil at Chanukkah!’” Andrea said, with a grin. “It’s just silly stuff like that, but it’s fun. And it feels really good to be able to engage.”