INTRODUCTION:

On Tisha B’Av we remember the moments throughout Jewish history that have caused us pain and loss with a communal day of remembrance; often including fasting.  A modern way to connect with this holiday is to make a connection between communal loss and personal loss by remember those who died.  This program offers participants a way to mark lives lost and learn about different Jewish cemetery customs as you simultaneously choose life. This program could also add a Tikkun Olam element to not only remember the dead personally and communally but to give back to the local community by cleaning up the cemetery.   

MATERIALS:

• Stones for cemetery 
• Optional cemetery clean up supplies 
• Guide to understand Jewish tombstone inscriptions   

PROGRAM OUTLINE (60 minutes):

• Part One: Frame the time & Learn about Jewish headstone markings
• Part Two: Time to clean up cemetery from weeds and trash & look for various markings on headstones
• Part Three: Processing the experience

Part One (15 mins) 

• If you are doing this program as a connection to Tisha B’Av, begin by explaining a bit about Tisha B’Av.  Here is a short synopsis.   
• One of the ways to remember the dead is also to affirm life and remember the blessings that they shared in life.   
• This text from Deuteronomy illustrates the affirmation of choosing life:  

.הַעִדֹ֨תִי בָכֶ֣ם הַיּוֹם֮ אֶת־הַשָּׁמַ֣יִם וְאֶת־הָאָ֒רֶץ֒ הַחַיִּ֤ים וְהַמָּ֙וֶת֙ נָתַ֣תִּי לְפָנֶ֔יךָ הַבְּרָכָ֖ה וְהַקְּלָלָ֑ה וּבָֽחַרְתָּ֙ בַּחַיִּ֔ים לְמַ֥עַן תִּֽחְיֶ֖ה אַתָּ֥ה וְזַרְעֶֽךָ

I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day: I have put before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life—if you and your offspring would live.  (Deut:  30:19) 

Questions:

• How does it feel to be at cemetery affirming life?   
• Does this enrich your Tisha B’Av experience or no? 
• Have you spent time at a Jewish cemetery before? 
• What are ways that we honor the deceased in Judaism? 
• Have you lost close family members or friends?  How do you honor and remember them? 
• Jewish cemeteries are filled with markings on stones that help us remember those who have died.  They often list their names, dates of birth and death, and 5 letters that stand for “May the Memory of the Righteous Always Be for a Blessing”.  Many headstones are different from one another.  Some list recipes, photos, carvings, or reference to who they were or what they did.  These allow their lives to continue to be an inspiration to future generations. 
• There are other customs that are important to understand Jewish cemeteries. Such as: to mark a visit instead of or in addition to flowers? Why Jews Put Stones on Graves | My Jewish Learning 
• Why if you are at a funeral, you might see some standing outside the gates if they are descendants of a Cohen?   Cohanim and cemetery | Rabbi David Sperling | Ask the Rabbi | yeshiva.co 

Part Two (35 mins) 

• One of the ways to honor the dead is to remember them.  And, to do acts of loving kindness in their memory.  Contact your local Jewish cemetery and see if you can help by pulling weeds, picking up trash, and learning about the stone markings. 
• Provide trash bags, gloves and fan out around the cemetery to clean up.  The 3-4^th paragraph in this entry directly relates to caring for a Jewish cemetery.  Cemetery | Jewish Virtual Library.   
• Or, using the guide to understand headstones, fan out to find people you know, loved ones, and stones that make you pause.   
• Using small stones, give each person 3 or 4 and ask them to place them on stones that don’t have, or people they’d like to honor (could be those they know or don’t know) 

Part Three (5-10 mins) 

• Gather back together and discuss what they saw, how they felt, what they learned.   
• If you choose, recite the Mourner’s Kaddish together to remember those who have died and affirm life.