Anyone who has been to summer camp, or lived in a college dorm, knows the wee hours are when we are most vulnerable. Staying up until midnight, 1, even 2 a.m., we find ourselves telling secrets, forming deep connections, and naming what lies in our heart of hearts.

Anyone who has ever really messed up knows it takes time to take responsibility: to reckon honestly, practice the words you’ll say, and prepare for the work of making it right.

We are now in the final countdown to the High Holidays. In Elul, Jewish tradition invites us into cheshbon nefesh—soul-searching—and many Jews enter that work through Selichot: some at dawn, others at midnight on the Saturday night before Rosh HaShanah. The practice uses the vulnerability of early hours, before our usual defenses are up, to read heart-opening poetry, call on God’s mercy, and begin opening the soul this season demands.

בֶּן אָדָם מַה לְּךָ נִרְדָּם קוּם קְרָא בְּתַחֲנוּנִים

.שְׁפֹךְ שִׂיחָה דְּרֹשׁ סְלִיחָה מֵאֲדוֹן הָאֲדוֹנִים

Human being, why are you sleeping? Get up, call out with pleas!

Pour out your words; seek forgiveness from the Lord of Lords!

So begins one version of these prayers: Don’t wait; don’t sleep on it.  Now is your moment. 

Another version opens by asking, 

.מַה־נִּתְאוֹנֵן וּמַה־נֹּאמַר. מַה־נְּדַבֵּר וּמַה נִּצְטַדָּק: נַחְפְּשָׂה דְּרָכֵינוּ וְנַחְקֹרָה וְנָשׁוּבָה אֵלֶיךָ

What can we say? What could we express, and how could we justify ourselves? We will search our ways, dig deep, and return to You.

Who hasn’t begun a journal entry with, “What can I even say?” Certainly, the composers of these prayers had. 

At Base Bay, we’ve been compiling a playlist that brings these traditional poems and songs into conversation with modern ones: music that knocks on the doors of our hearts, slips past our defenses, and reminds us that growth is still possible. As Lake Street Dive sings, 

“I am scared that I won’t get it right, but fear won’t rule my heart tonight. I can change, I can change, I can still change, I can still change.” 

In these final days before the High Holidays, how are you opening your heart? What might you do between now and next Friday to be more spiritually ready to mark a new path forward? 

Here’s our playlist, if you want some inspiration!