Mem Moment | How Will I Live This Year?
Yom Kippur “Day of Atonement”
On Yom Kippur, our Day of Atonement, we recite a prayer called Unetaneh Tokef, Proclaiming the Greatness of this Day. As part of this poetic prayer, we imagine God as a being who, every Yom Kippur, decides who will live and who will die in the upcoming year, planning out the fate of each member of humanity. It is a version of God I have never believed in; one who decides “who [will die] by fire, who by water, who by strangulation and who by stoning…” Yet every year, when we read or chant or sing this prayer, I find myself moved. Not necessarily by the idea that there’s some God in the sky who is doling out our fates, but by the idea that each year, each day, we are making decisions that affect our entire lives.
Rabbi Ed Feinstein wrote of this prayer: “I sat in shul for years reading these words before I realized the answer. The answer to all of these questions…Who will live and who will die? Who by fire and who by water? The answer to each of these questions is me. Who will live and who will die? I will.” Every year on Yom Kippur we are invited to imagine the future year in the ultimate terms. I will live this year, and I may die. What will I do to fill my days? What choices can I make now so that next year, when I look back in reflection, I can feel that I have improved my life? My community? The world? If I am to encounter fire, water, famine, thirst, rest, wandering, success, and failure, let me do so with graceful generosity in my hands and deep connection in my heart, and always with a willingness to turn towards goodness.
