Embarking Together: Meet Blair and Drew!
When Blair and Drew first met on Hinge six years ago, early in the COVID-19 pandemic, neither of them was thinking about finding a Jewish community: they were just trying to find a place where they could meet in-person.
“We went to see a drive-in movie, and he talked through the entire movie,” Blair recalls with mock disapproval. Then, she smiles. “But I guess I forgave him, because we still went out on another date after that.”
Together, Blair and Drew’s story illustrates the many experiences that fit under Embark’s “interfaith and multiheritage” umbrella. Drew’s grandmother (his mother’s mother) was Jewish, Blair explains, but Drew himself was raised Roman Catholic, like his father. He had “no exposure” to Judaism until they met.
In fact, Blair didn’t consider herself to have much exposure to Judaism, either: “I felt more ethnically and culturally Jewish than spiritually,” she says. She had grown up in a small town and knew only one other Jewish kid. Although her family practiced some Jewish traditions when she was young, “after my grandparents passed, that was kind of it.”
As Drew and Blair began to talk about their future, including children and family life, religion was an “important pillar” that they wanted to be aligned on. Together, they began a journey to, as Blair puts it, “go back to some roots.”
They started with classes: An Intro to Judaism; A Taste of Judaism; and more. They loved learning together but still felt something was missing: other couples who shared their experience.
Blair tries to put the feeling into words. “We’re both in our 30s, and while there are certainly folks in their 30s [in the classes], it felt like most people had kids – kind of a different phase of life. Or,” she adds, tilting her head, “they were on the younger side, more of the 20s. It was just a gap where we didn’t feel like we found our personal community.”
They joined Tribe 12, a local Philadelphia organization for Jewish young adults. Whenever they talked with their Tribe 12 friends about wanting to meet other couples, Blair says, “[Embark] just kept coming up.”
Rabbi Megan Goldmarche, the Executive Director of Tribe 12, who would also be leading the next cohort, finally pushed them to dive in.
“She sent an email, like: Hey, you guys are going to sign up for this, aren’t you?” Blair says, laughing. “So, we did, and really didn’t look back after that.”
Initially, the schedule for the Embark Philadelphia cohort caught them off guard.
“When we first saw the subjects that were going to be discussed, we were really just kind of impressed,” Blair says, sounding a little bemused. “We’re talking about finances, on, what, week 5?” She laughs, remembering her own trepidation. “That’s kind of personal! I don’t really know you people.”
Yet ultimately, they were intrigued by the opportunity to dive into conversations they hadn’t before.
“We got married before starting the cohort and it was a very non-religious ceremony,” Blair shares. “So, we never had a chance to do any of the more couples counseling-type things that people do leading up to their ceremonies. I thought that having those conversations would be interesting.”
Although Drew, in particular, had some fear about how his background would blend with the cohort, Blair says they were “blown away” by the diversity of Jewish experiences in their cohort. She describes the range: from a rabbi’s daughter to people who had never practiced before.
The inclusivity of the conversations meant a lot to her and Drew, especially. “I was drawing the connections [for him] of, you don’t have to be Jewish enough, you don’t have to be a certain thing. The commitment to lifelong learning being a Jewish value – that’s enough, and that counts. There’s a lot of warm and fuzzy and feel-good moments in that.”
“For example, one was around the subject of giving: what your obligation is to do that, what counts, and budgeting and household finances. That one really stuck out to us because it’s such an intimate subject and we didn’t think that was going to be one that could easily be discussed in a classroom,” she shares enthusiastically.
The conversations wouldn’t end when the sessions did, either.
“We had been talking about values, but it turned into everyone talking about what they appreciated about their partner and what Jewish values those highlighted. Oh my gosh, that circle…” she smiles fondly. “I shed more than a couple tears. It was just a really great moment to take what we’ve been learning and just see everything in real life.”
After the cohort, Blair and Drew have not only continued to see their fellow couples at Tribe 12 events – they’ve also attended two weddings.
“I really thought there would be one or two couples that we would connect with, and that’s it,” she admits.
“But I’ve surprised myself with how many people from the cohort I regularly keep in touch with!”
Now, she’s got big dreams to grow the Embark Philadelphia community even further. “I’m hoping eventually we can get the different cohorts to all meet up,” she says with a grin. “Megan and I have been talking about organizing a Color Wars, like recess back in the day. Hopefully we can spread that love and bring other cohorts in with ours.”
But although Blair’s dream is to keep growing the community, don’t get her wrong: “Obviously,” she laughs, a competitive gleam in her eye, “we’re going to win!”