Mem Moment | What We Do With “No”
Parashat Va’Etchanan “And I Pleaded” /
Shabbat Nachamu “Shabbat of Comfort”
I remember sitting with this parashah and feeling upset for Moshe. Here’s a man who gave his all, leading a stubborn people through the desert for forty years, yet the one thing he wanted most, to enter the Land, he doesn’t get, despite pleading 515 times. Our Sages point out that Va’Etchanan has the same numerical value as prayer. The Kabbalists add that Moshe stopped because Hashem told him “enough”. For me, the lesson isn’t about Moshe’s failure, but about the power of persistence and what we do when the answer is still “no.”
Rather than dwelling on his loss, Moshe gives us the Shema, repeats the Ten Commandments, and teaches us to love Hashem. Perhaps Moshe’s mission was to bring Torah into the world, while entering the Land required a different kind of leadership. Leadership means recognizing the limits of your role and trusting that an unfinished mission isn’t the same as a failed one.
Moshe doesn’t collapse when he hears the “no” from Hashem. He turns back to teaching. His personal grief becomes the Jewish people’s inheritance. This parashah is read on Shabbat Nachamu, after Tisha B’Av. Its timing echoes Moshe’s heartbreaking denial of his greatest wish and the Jewish people’s loss of the Temple and their own home. Moshe’s unanswered prayer becomes our Shema, and his unfinished journey becomes the next generation’s beginning. Similarly, after millennia of brutal exile, we find comfort in our strong Jewish identities and vibrant communities we are building across the world.
Have you ever experienced a “no” that, looking back, led you toward a different purpose or opportunity? How did your perspective change over time?
Moshe doesn’t stop serving after hearing “no” from Hashem and he continues teaching and preparing the next generation. What does this teach us about leadership, resilience, and defining success?