Tu B’Av: The Jewish Day of Love חג האהבה
Some Background Information:
During the 1920’s & 30’s parties took place in Tel Aviv on Tu B’Av, but it wasn’t until the 1990’s that it really started to thrive in Israel. Today, this mid–summer Jewish holiday is a day to emphasize the connection we feel to another. In Israel there are festivals of singing and dancing and it has become more commercialized with cards, flowers, and other expressions of love. It is also a popular date for weddings.
Tu B’Av is sundown, August 8th—Sunday, August 9th.
The name of the holiday comes from the date. Tu = 15th of Hebrew month of Adar.
It is a post–Biblical holiday focusing on joy and love. This little–known holiday (though, more popular in Israel) is often likened to Valentine’s Day and can be a wonderful expression of love, joy, and hope.
The first mention of Tu B’Av in Jewish texts comes in the Mishnah (The first part of the Talmud, or, Jewish law), Mishnah Taanit 4:8. In Second Temple Times, it was a matchmaking day for unmarried women. Essentially, a day to celebrate youth, romance and dancing.
The holiday was instituted in the Second Temple period to mark the beginning of the grape harvest, which ended on Yom Kippur. There are other commemorations recorded in theTalmudrelated to Tu B’Av of events that happened on that day. It falls on the evening of the 14th and day of the 15th of the month when the moon is full. In ancient cultures, and in Judaism, there are often links between a full moon and romance, love, and fertility.
Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said: There were no days as joyous for the Jewish people as the fifteenth of Av and as Yom Kippur, as on them the daughters of Jerusalem would go out in white clothes, which each woman borrowed from another… and they would dance with joy in the vineyards. And what would they say? Young man, please lift up your eyes and see what you choose for yourself for a wife. (Mishnah Taanit 4:8)
,אַָמַר רַָּבָּן שִׁמְעֹוֹן בֶּן גַמְלִׁיֵאֵל, לֹא הָּיוּ יִָּׁמִׁים טוִֹׁבִׁים לְיִׁשְרֵָּאֵל כַחֲמִָּׁשָּה עָָּּשָּר בְאָב וּכְיֹוֹם הַכִׁפּוִּׁרִׁים, שֶּבֶָּּהֶּן בְנֹוֹת יְרוּשָּלִַׁיִׁם יוֹצְאֹוֹת בִׁכְֵלֵי לָָּּבָּן שְאוִּׁלִׁין
.שֶּלֹּא לְבֵַיֵשאֶּת מִׁי שֵֶּאֵין לֹוֹ
How Easy is it to Find Someone?
A Roman Matron asked Rabbi Yosi ben Halafta, “In how many days did God create the world?” He said, “In six, as it is said, ‘Since six days God made…’ (Exodus 20:11) “And since then,” she asked, “what has God been doing?” “God sits [on the Heavenly Throne] and makes matches: the daughter of this one to that one, the wife [i.e. widow] of this one to that one, the money of this one to that one,” responded R. Yosi. “And for merely this you believe in G!d!” she said. “Even I can do that. I have many slaves, both male and female. In no time at all, I can match them for marriage.” R. Yosi, “Though this may be an easy thing for you to do, for God it is as difficult as splitting the Sea of Reeds.” Whereupon, Rabbi Yosi took his leave. What did she do? The Matron lined up a thousand male and a thousand female slaves and said you marry you, and married them all off that night. The next day, one slave had his head bashed in, another had lost an eye, while a third hobbled because of a broken leg. She said to them: “What happened to you?” and they each said to her: “I don’t want this one” [with whom you matched me].” Immediately, she sent for and summoned R. Yosi and she said: “There is no God like your God, and your Torah is true, pleasing and praiseworthy. You spoke wisely.”
He said to her, “Didn’t I tell you, if it appears easy in your eyes, it is difficult for the Holy One Blessed Be He like splitting the sea.” “What do you think? That The Holy Blessed One, is marrying them against their will but not for their benefit?!?” (Bereshit Rabbah 68:4)
The Jewish Concept of Beshert (that a couple is ‘destined’ to be together)
The Gemara asks: Is that so that a human is matched to another human according to his actions? But Rav Yehuda saysthatRav says: Forty days before an embryo is formed a Divine Voice issues forth and says: The child of so–and–so is destined to marry so–and–so; such and such a house is destined to be inhabited by so–and–so; such and such a field is destined to be farmed by so–and–so. This clearly states that these matters, including marriage, are decreed for a person even before he is formed. (Sotah 2a)
Do you believe that there is one person for everyone? Is there only one person?
How do you know if you’ve found your soulmate?
How does being in the right time at the right place play a part into finding the fit in a match for you?
A Relationship Requires Hard Work
The Torah says that God created humans in one entity, then they were separated and brought together as a couple. Marriage is uniting these two halves into one whole. (Genesis 1:27)
Being in a relationship means working on the whole. It means remembering that you are one team.
What role do you play in helping a relationship along?
What does it mean to be a good partner?